The AHa! Blog

A few months ago, I wrote a post about romance and what I think we do to break it.

While on the road to Miami, I heard it described in the best way yet. It comes down to two simple works that, fortunately, are alliterated.

Women fantasize

Think about it. We all have seen at least one romantic movie. A woman, who is desperately emotionally in need (whether she realized it or not), is swept up by the perfect man. It happens in romance novels. And, it happens in real life, when women expect the perfect man to come along and reject anybody that isn’t exactly that guy at first glance.

Men fear

First off, men have to live in the paradigm women create. They have to wonder if she even thinks he’s Mr. Perfect. On top of that, young men can’t handle rejection. We’ve been bred to think that everybody is a winner and failure isn’t for us. If something might cause us to fail, why try it?

What can we do?

Well, I guess, I can put some new alliteration into the situation:

Women should trust

God is in control. Don’t worry if the guy who asks you out isn’t Mr. Darcy. Give him a chance. If a guy has a genuine pursuit, give him a chance.

Men should try

God is in control. Don’t worry if a girl who you ask out doesn’t say yes. God has made you wonderfully. However, girls will not go out with you if you don’t ask them to.

Everybody should grow in character

OK, so some people you pursue or are pursued by won’t be Mr. or Mrs. Right. That’s ok. If you have the character to pursue under God’s eyes, and to respect the other person emotionally and physically, you’re gonna do ok. By setting boundaries, you won’t develop the deep bonds of the heart or the flesh that make breaking up so hard to do.

Everybody should be honest

Girls, if you think a guy isn’t for you, however, don’t lead him on. And guys, if you’re just pursuing a girl for her body and aren’t ready to give your life for a person, b3 straight forward. There’s no reason to keep dating if you aren’t willing/able to maintain a relationship with integrity.